What Perimenopause Felt Like Before and After HRT: A Real Life Reset at 41
Before I dive into what hormone replacement therapy (HRT) did for me, let me back up a bit.
I’m now about to turn 45, a mom to an almost 10 year old and an angel boy, and I run a full-time business that feels like a fifth child. My days are a chaotic blend of school drop-offs, Zoom calls, back-to-back clients, dance classes, and frozen chicken nuggets. I’m not new to stress. I’ve juggled a lot for years. But something shifted—and not in a way that “more sleep and water” could fix.
The Weird, Creeping Onset of Perimenopause
It started subtly around 41. At first, I just felt off. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I wasn’t sleeping well—rolling around restlessly all night. I would wake up drenched in sweat, with my heart racing, like I’d just run a marathon in my sleep. I had heart palpitations just sitting still, which was labeled as ‘anxiety’ by my primary provider because “you’re way too young for menopause”. Ugh. While I am busy All. The. Time. I am not anxious, except when my heart would race!
The worst part? I didn’t feel like me. I was more irritable, quick to snap, and so foggy that I’d forget mid-sentence what I was saying. Trying to have an intelligent convo with another medical provider was starting to be embarrassing! I was overwhelmed by things I used to handle with ease. My body felt foreign: bloating, unpredictable cycles, acne like I was 16 (even tho I never had acne then!) and crushing fatigue that coffee couldn’t touch.
I blamed it on burnout. Kids. Work. Life. But something deeper was happening. Spoiler: I wasn’t too young for perimenopause. Oh the joy
The Breaking Point
I didn’t recognize the woman I was becoming. I missed the version of me who had energy, patience, and could power through her day with a sense of purpose instead of just survival.
I started digging, reading, asking friends and clients my age what they were experiencing and found that all these weird hard-to-describe symptoms were what these other women were feeling too!
Starting HRT: What Changed
Starting hormone replacement therapy wasn’t an instant fix. But within a month or so I started to see glimmers of myself again. The brain fog and exhaustion was the first thing I felt relief from. Hallelujah! The night sweats eased a bit too. With a clear mind I could focus, carry a thought, finish a task without forgetting why I walked into a room again and actually get a decent night sleep. What a trip!
Most of all, I felt like the volume dial on my irritability had finally been turned down. I could breathe again. I didn’t cry at every commercial or lose it over the clutter in my house. My skin improved, muscle tone increased and my libido came back. And my body didn’t feel like it was at war with me anymore.
Why I’m Sharing This
We don’t talk about this enough. I am my own most commonly seen patient, with all the symptoms she’s feeling. We are the same. But we whisper about hot flashes and less orgasms and joke about mood swings, but no one tells you how disorienting it can be to lose yourself in this season and how empowering it is to take the reins back.
HRT didn’t make me superhuman. I still have bad days. But now, I have the clarity and energy to handle them. And I finally feel like I have my life—and my identity—back.
If you’re in your 30s or 40s and something feels off, trust yourself. Perimenopause won’t wait until you’re 50. There’s no magic age when it will or should start. Advocate for your health. Because you deserve to feel like you again, too.
This is my story. It won’t be the same as yours. But if it gives you a nudge to ask more questions, then I hope it helps. Hormones may be small—but the difference they can make is anything but.
I have been working with an incredible mentor, a world renowned fertility/endocrine specialist, to be ready for you. My books are open as of June 1 to start helping you with your hormone replacement story. Ask me anything! I am here to help!